Joe: Short enough that you wonder if his parents regret not putting him on the gymnastics track instead. Myles: I have a very firm hug-agnostic policy in which I accept but rarely if ever initiate hugs, and I’ve literally had dreams about losing a tough five-setter to DelPo and having him hug the pain away at the net. That’s probably going to ruin it for some of you but it’s a value-add for this ginger-phile. Sarah: I just realized he looks like Damian Lewis, kind of. Joe: I need him to beat Isner, so I’m holding off on my “why the long face” cracks for the moment. Sarah: One of these days I’ll stop mixing him and Schwartzman up. Joe: I’ve said the thing before about the college boyfriend who you’d want to take home to Mom and Dad, right? He and Fognini would make a fabulous contrast in that way. Zach: His butt is so big, and he is always so wet. Myles: I was watching his Round of 16 match, and he was tapping into some rage I hadn’t really seen before, and it did a lot to assert his adulthood after years of being trapped in the emotionless void of late-teenagehood. And then you see the effect that Rafa is having on the youth and you start to appreciate him through new eyes. Joe: You know, you take for granted sometimes that Rafa Nadal’s butt and arms have been with us for thirteen years, and you start to get complacent. The only thing that could be better is if his underwear modeling would keep apace of his latest renaissance on the courts. But he benefits in terms of rankings from the fall of some stronger competitors. Myles: Not only did Nadal go back to sleeves, but he’s also steamrolling through the draw, and there’s nothing attractive about an over-dominant frontrunner who’s never pushed enough to tap into even half an emotion.
Sarah: Yeah, what’s left of the hair is an issue, but he’s coping nicely. (Wondering about previous rankings? They’re all right here!) Welcome to another convocation of The Order Of The Shallows! I’m joined once again by old hands Joe Reid, Zach Wilcha, and Myles McNutt as we rank the 2018 French’s men’s Round Of 16ers by hotness.
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